3 more years, PLEASE! November 30, 2009

Last night I couldn’t sleep, usually that’s an indication that the Lord’s trying to speak to me. So for a good hour or so I lay there just thinking about my life. Lately I’ve just been feeling really useless. All around me I see people being bold for Christ and winning souls for the Kingdom. I was really contemplating my feeble attempts to make an impact on the world around me and realized that I am completely BORING. Okay, so I can talk to other Christians openly about Jesus, but what is that doing? Great, so I know some bible verses. What good is that going to do anyone if I’m not applying them to my life and sharing them with those that don’t know him. Of course I don’t want to bible bash ANYONE, but what I’m saying is, I need to be applying these biblical principles to my own life so I can produce good fruit. The point of my aimless wanderings is the fact that I have not been producing this fruit. I have been self seeking and inwardly focused.  So at about 3AM the Lord brings Luke 13:6 into focus: ⁶Then he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. ⁷So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’ ⁸” ‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. ⁹If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’ “

What words for me to hear at 3 O’clock in the morning! What a perfect mirror for me to witness my inactivity first hand. I know full well that my salvation is not dependent on the amount of good works that I do, Jesus took care of that, but what I am most concerned with is my heart attitude. In listening to my friend, Bill Morgan preach this morning I realized how luke warm I’ve been as of late.  I’ve been way too comfortable where I am and it’s about time I shake things up. Lord, I don’t want to be cut down like that fig tree! I need another three years, in fact I need a whole lot more!  I am so thankful for this revelation he gave me. I know that I need to begin on my knees in prayer. I needed to be searching myself and asking the Lord to search my heart. I want to know what that next step is. I want to be in his will for my life and be his servant. All things aside, the only thing that matters in my life is the relationship that I have with Jesus. Where is my sense of urgency to let the ones I love know about his awesome, redeeming love!  I’ve got a lot of thinking and praying to do!

Lots to be Thankful For! November 26, 2009

Today was a great day! Not just because I got to eat a ton of delicious homemade food, but because I was able to regain another part of my past. For about ten years I’ve had an estranged relationship with my extended family. For some reason, hurtful words were exchanged and years were spent apart. I can remember countless Thanksgivings and Christmas’s filled with laughter as a child. All my family was in one place, at the same time and we were able to really enjoy one another. Today was the greatest Thanksgiving I’ve had in many years because we were a family again. In thinking about all of the things I am thankful for, I was ultimately reminded of my love for Jesus Christ and the awesome gifts he’s given me. He really does bring beauty out of ashes and restore homes that are broken. Lately, I’ve had a lot of time to consider the extent to which he has impacted my life. I’ve never had richer friendships and I’ve never felt so complete and loved. I may be single, but I am definitely not alone! I am so blessed by the work he has begun in me and am thankful for this refining period in my life. In every season of my life, God seems to bring people up along side of me that keep me accountable and inspire me to keep running hard after him.  Most of all I am thankful for my new church family. When I first came to the House of Praise, I really couldn’t put my finger on why I loved it so much. I now know that what I experienced there was genuine Christ-like love that made me feel accepted and wanted. Never before had I witnessed a community of people that really cared about each other and served one another without agenda.  When I talked, people really listened and when I needed prayer, they really prayed. I am just beyond excited about this next chapter in my life. I’m at a point where I can see his plan for my life slowly unfolding. I have much to be thankful for and much to be excited about. I continue to be amazed by the fact that God wants to use me despite  my sinful nature, my doubts and my failures. That’s just how good he is!  Since I love to write, I figured today was just as good a day as any to begin blogging.  Hope I didn’t bore you too much!